The 'DIAY' people You know, and the cost of it for them!

 

You will know the people I'm talking about. I used to be one. It could well be you are one of the people. The DIAY people. I did it in my business; and it was tiring, stressful, and hard to stay motivated. It also meant making sacrifices and doing less of what I really loved. 

Others do it at home, at work, in their club or organisation. DIAY people, Do It All Yourself!

Examples, you ask? Fixing your own lawnmower, cutting your own hair, writing your own CV, doing all the admin for the club you are in, doing the accounts for the local charity free, covering HR and stationery and IT and admin in your business.  Nothing wrong with this until you come under scrutiny. The lawnmower breaks down and costs you extra in parts no longer covered under warranty, your hair now 'looks' like the front lawn, you get no answers to the CV’s you send out, you delete half the membership of the club by accident, the Revenue audits the charity accounts and you get the blame, and your client base falls away cause you spend too much time on your business rather than in it.

Then we cry out for the help of an expert, after the damage is done. 

‘Everyone I meet knows more than me.’ A phrase I heard more than 10 years ago. Let that sink in.

‘Everyone I meet knows more than me.’

Give yourself the time when networking, to listen to everyone intently. Rather than talking about yourself. Listen to what they know more than you. And take note of that expertise.

Then next time you have a job to do at home, in your club or organisation, or in your business just ask yourself who knows more about that than me. And reach out to them.

I have, and the results are twofold. 1- Things get done professionally and in less than half the time it would have taken me. 2- It frees up time for me to do what I love doing most.

Patrick Mercie

Mind Coach

Moving people, organisations, companies from F.L.A.W.S. © to FLOW!!

+353 83-3008963

patrickmercie66@hotmail.com 

What you might do instead of listening to bad or scary news!!

 

When was the last time you carefully listened to all the information that is thrown at you? The last time that you really took in what is being constantly drip-fed to you?

 

13 Hospitals have no free intensive care beds.

Dutch officials confiscate ham sandwiches from UK visitors as a result of Brexit.

Trump supporters planning armed protests ahead of Biden inauguration, FBI warns.

Status Yellow - Rainfall Warning for Mayo and Sligo.

Rugby's European cups temporarily suspended due to Covid-19.

 

Headlines from official news channels this Tuesday. On Twitter this morning some of the trends are:

#motherandbabyhomes #fakenews #CovidVaccine #Brexit #USCapitol

If you were to add feelings to all those pieces of information, what would those feelings be?

Just for a brief moment think what feelings go with these topics?

Now ask yourself if these are feelings you love having in your life?

 

NO? Then what can you do about this?

 

From experience here are a few questions to start you off on a different journey:

 

What would it mean to you to have other feelings in your life?

What feelings would you like in your life?

What impact, would having those feelings in your life, have on you?

What actions can you take today that will give you these feelings?

I invite you to take 1 positive action from the last answer. 1 that is good for you. And try it out! See if it gets you the feeling and if that feeling is worth having.

 

If you struggle to come up with positive actions that is OK too, we have had to endure the above information stream for a long time in our lives. It’s all about small steps to change. It’s about creating a bubble of positivity around yourself and once that is there, we can start thinking of bigger changes.

What can you do now if you have no immediate positive actions?

 

From personal experience and that of my clients here are 2 things that really work and are easy to do.

1- Each evening before you go to bed, write down the 3 best things that happened to you that day. Small things, simple things, big things, achievements, thank you’s. They all count. In my last week, there were best things in my life like a call with a really good friend, a dinner that tasted wonderful, a new contract signed with an existing client, a dog walk, a song I hadn’t heard for ages.

When you have written all 3 down, add a feeling to them and relive that feeling for a minute.

2- While we have to stay home as much as we can, do go Outdoors at least once a day. No phone, no music. Just you (and if you want the children, dog, partner) and the outdoors. Walk, run, cycle, skip, sit on a mat, work in the garden. Whichever. And see how you feel during and after.

Changing things around in your life is simple. Just do things you love and are good for you. One step at a time.

I can’t wait to hear from you to see how this changes things for you!!

 

Patrick Mercie

Mind Coach

Moving people, organisations, companies from F.L.A.W.S. © to FLOW!!

+353 83-3008963

patrickmercie66@hotmail.com 

Show me your 'Abnormal'.

Ready to get back to 'Normal' soon?

The hope has been raised. Soon, we might be in a situation to all go back to a sense of Normal. To most, it will feel like a great relief after a period of worries, stress, bereavement, social distancing, missing human connections and so much more.

After that brief period of relief, normal will be back at work. And living fully again.

Yet, the ESRI (Economic & Social Research Institute) found that stress at work levels in Ireland doubled between 2010 & 2015. And research by international human resources consultancy Mercer shows that 82% of those questioned here said they face increased stress at work.

Paying those bills comes with a price. Your immune system takes a beating from all those stress responses. Your mental health suffers. Your relationships break down. You indulge in things that allow you to escape reality.

That was our Normal.

But 'Abnormal' doesn't pay the bills!

'In the real world, you can't just do what you love and expect to get paid enough to cover the bills. And if you do, you will have to work so hard it won't be worth the hassle. Most of us will have to do jobs we are not excited about. It gets us to live a normal life.'

I have heard this phrase in many forms and each time I hear it, I agree. That is indeed the reality for most people right now.

Is it worth just discovering your 'Abnormal'?

Here are some side effects myself and some of the people I have worked with have endured since going on a discovery tour of our loves, passions, and joys:

-Personally, I am over 10 years GP free. As in I don't have a GP nor have I had the need to visit one. And I have run 124 Marathons in that time. Because running is one of those joys.
-Using the time they spent escaping from the real world through TV, passive sports, social media etc... they started pursuing their passions 1 hour at a time and have improved mental health, physical health.
-Clients who started engaging with their loves, passions, and joys have since left their jobs and started working for themselves or in collaboration with others. Some quicker than others yet most do so in the time needed to get there.
-Better relationships and a new circle of friends with common interests.
-Improved sleep patterns.
-Healthier lifestyle.

These are just a few of the benefits! There are as many as there are individuals who tried this.

I just wanted to ask you two easy questions:

Would it be worth your while trying to rediscover your loves, passions, and joys? And finding fun ways to start engaging with them?

If, like so many others the answer is Yes, I have good news for you.

You can. You are worth it. You deserve it. Trust yourself. Allow yourself that hope.

Love, Patte xxx

All I want for Christmas is ..... not what you think

A week in a Suite in the Shelbourne? No thanks.
All Ireland corporate box tickets? No thanks.
A limousine with driver and champagne bar? What would I do with that?

An office with staff? No thanks.
A holiday home in Monaco? No thanks
A 60 inch TV with surround sound? What would I do with that?

Love? Joy? Kindness? Yes, please.
It is not your money that will make me happy.
I want to live in simplicity and contribution.
Discovering inner freedom.
Being me.

Chasing numbers? No thanks.
Using a fork and knife to eat a burger? No thanks.
Watching stuff on TV just for the water cooler? Why would I do that?

False promises? No thanks.
Fact free thinking? No thanks.
Expanding wealth portfolio? Why would I do that?

Love? Joy? Kindness? Yes, please.
It is not your money that will make me happy.
I want to live in simplicity and contribution.
Discovering inner freedom.
Being me.

Welcome to my reality.
A world.
Full of presence.
Where we are.
Us.
Unashamedly Us.
Limitless Us.
Lovingly Us.

That's all I want for Christmas. I'll put out a stocking just in case.

Patte xxx

*Inspired by the lyrics of Je Veux by ZAZ

The Stresstive season or the Connective Season?

The festive season is upon us and that brings with it a hive of activities. We have to buy presents, go to office parties, get the food sorted, know when we are going to visit who, make sure we don’t forget anyone, send cards, put up the decorations, …

In the meantime, our daily lives are still the same. We still have a job to go to or to get, children to collect from school, housework needs to be done, bills have to be paid, pets looked after, …

Does all this sound like a festive season, used to rest and reflect on the year that has gone by? A season where we take stock and enjoy the next steps in our lives? A season where we reconnect spiritually, whatever that may mean to you? A season of goodwill, friendship, empathy, and love?

Stresstive Season

Or does it sound like a stresstive season? A season where we are forced to jump through all kinds of hoops to keep everyone happy. When we are expected to be merry 24/7? Where we 'have to' socialise, buy, behave, join in?

What if we made it a Connective Season instead?

How do we do that I hear you ask? What if we tried some or all of the following until early January?

1- Connect with yourself. Give your self some space each day and engage with things you love fully and do so in the moment. ‘Do lots of what you would really like to do, little of what you tolerate and nothing you hate.’ (John Assaraf)

2- Connect with those around you whom you love to see how they are coping. The stresstivities might get to them. Keep your ears and eyes open for signs that they want a break from it. You could be the person they get to share that break with.

3- Connect with the spirit of the time of year. Instead of buying presents, be present. Give time, a listening ear, thank you’s, a smile, empathy, and love to all you meet. Perform random acts of kindness. Volunteer. Cook. Exercise. Dance. Be.

Connective Season

In short, do what is good for you and those around you: Live from within rather than just fitting in without.

Have a Connective season,

Patte xxx

What's Love got to do with it?

As awareness of what really is sinks deeper, the idea of love changes. As Alan Watts purportedly said: “If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” 

So when I love myself, I love everything. (I can see your reaction to this as I type it, ye are a funny bunch!) I love myself enough to do just the things I love doing as much as possible.

  

Carrie Bradshaw agrees with me :)

I love running, writing, good food, traveling, speaking, connecting, guiding, listening to music, coaching, and dancing. So I run, write, eat, travel, speak, connect, facilitate, listen to music, coach and dance as often as I can.

I love myself enough to live a life that is destined for doing what I love and for contribution beyond the idea of myself. Learning to guide and facilitate that change in others.

Not change in the sense of better, richer, faster or more successful. Change to help others to love themselves and do more stuff they love.

So do you express your love for you? Do you do the things you love as often as you can? Do you know you could make a living doing these? A full Living ;) 

It is my premise that if more people reconnected to love, our world would become a different place to live in. Reconnected individuals who love themselves enough to do more of what is truly them. And in that way help others at truly being themselves.

So yes I really love myself. Because love is infectious. And I want it to spread. 

Patte xxx

Belleek Marathon Challenge - Flow lessons!

3 Nights, 4 Days, 2 Marathons, 10's of friends. That was last weekend in Ballina, Mayo. It was the 6th edition of the Belleek Marathon Challenge. This is a relatively small, yet very professionally organised annual running event. Organised by runners Daria Lubinska and Cezary Lubinski.

Wooden Medals and T-Shirt

Day 1. Arrived in Ballina via 2 bus journeys. Limerick-Galway and Galway-Ballina. Dinner in Dillon's Bar and hydration in Harrisons.

Day 2. 6 laps of 7 kilometers in Belleek Forest. Despite overnight heavy rain the paths and trails of the forest were in good shape and grip was found with ordinary Asics runners, even on the many steep inclines and descents. Ran the first 14 kilometers and then figured out I'm a tad out of shape after only running races this year and no training. The 'training' is actually fun running a few times a week and will be resumed as a result of this weekend. Not because of the out of shape feeling. Instead, it was a memory of the good feelings after each daily run that convinced my mind to start running more often again. Finished laps 3, 4, 5 & 6 to the Finish line in the excellent company of Derek Mackessy. Derek runs Ultra's and 100 milers for fun and it was great to share stories for a couple of hours :)

Here's a link to the Saturday start video from the organisers FB page. Saturday had 7k, Half and Full Marathon:
https://www.facebook.com/Belleektrailmarathon/videos/462341867727193/?t=4

That night about 15 of us came together for a meal in the Ballina Manor Hotel. The banter, stories, memories, and dreams were flowing way faster than any beverages and hours flew by. At one stage I looked around our table and guessed there were about 2,500 Marathons between us. It could have been more. What a privilege to be here.

Day 3. Opening loop of about 3 miles, followed by 2 loops of the road to Killala and the Greenway. This road has no single, solitary flat bit in it. You are either going up or downhill. The Greenway was a relief each time. Twisted my knee on a downhill after about 6 miles. Every step after that was uncomfortable and running was painful. Spent the entire 26.2 miles alone in open nature just occasionally sharing encouragements with passing runners on this out and back loop.

Every single step that day was pure bliss. I felt at home. At peace. Living from within. Being. Doing what I love.

Day 4. Bus trip back to Limerick with a big smile and aching feet. And a sense of awareness.

Running has always been my guide to the rest of my life. I type this on Wednesday, 3 days after that 2nd Marathon. And yet again this feeling has permeated everything I do.

Just being. Doing what I love. At peace. From within.

And everything is flowing. Without effort.

Have a free-flowing day!!

Patte xxx