All I want for Christmas is ..... not what you think

A week in a Suite in the Shelbourne? No thanks.
All Ireland corporate box tickets? No thanks.
A limousine with driver and champagne bar? What would I do with that?

An office with staff? No thanks.
A holiday home in Monaco? No thanks
A 60 inch TV with surround sound? What would I do with that?

Love? Joy? Kindness? Yes, please.
It is not your money that will make me happy.
I want to live in simplicity and contribution.
Discovering inner freedom.
Being me.

Chasing numbers? No thanks.
Using a fork and knife to eat a burger? No thanks.
Watching stuff on TV just for the water cooler? Why would I do that?

False promises? No thanks.
Fact free thinking? No thanks.
Expanding wealth portfolio? Why would I do that?

Love? Joy? Kindness? Yes, please.
It is not your money that will make me happy.
I want to live in simplicity and contribution.
Discovering inner freedom.
Being me.

Welcome to my reality.
A world.
Full of presence.
Where we are.
Us.
Unashamedly Us.
Limitless Us.
Lovingly Us.

That's all I want for Christmas. I'll put out a stocking just in case.

Patte xxx

*Inspired by the lyrics of Je Veux by ZAZ

The Stresstive season or the Connective Season?

The festive season is upon us and that brings with it a hive of activities. We have to buy presents, go to office parties, get the food sorted, know when we are going to visit who, make sure we don’t forget anyone, send cards, put up the decorations, …

In the meantime, our daily lives are still the same. We still have a job to go to or to get, children to collect from school, housework needs to be done, bills have to be paid, pets looked after, …

Does all this sound like a festive season, used to rest and reflect on the year that has gone by? A season where we take stock and enjoy the next steps in our lives? A season where we reconnect spiritually, whatever that may mean to you? A season of goodwill, friendship, empathy, and love?

Stresstive Season

Or does it sound like a stresstive season? A season where we are forced to jump through all kinds of hoops to keep everyone happy. When we are expected to be merry 24/7? Where we 'have to' socialise, buy, behave, join in?

What if we made it a Connective Season instead?

How do we do that I hear you ask? What if we tried some or all of the following until early January?

1- Connect with yourself. Give your self some space each day and engage with things you love fully and do so in the moment. ‘Do lots of what you would really like to do, little of what you tolerate and nothing you hate.’ (John Assaraf)

2- Connect with those around you whom you love to see how they are coping. The stresstivities might get to them. Keep your ears and eyes open for signs that they want a break from it. You could be the person they get to share that break with.

3- Connect with the spirit of the time of year. Instead of buying presents, be present. Give time, a listening ear, thank you’s, a smile, empathy, and love to all you meet. Perform random acts of kindness. Volunteer. Cook. Exercise. Dance. Be.

Connective Season

In short, do what is good for you and those around you: Live from within rather than just fitting in without.

Have a Connective season,

Patte xxx

What's Love got to do with it?

As awareness of what really is sinks deeper, the idea of love changes. As Alan Watts purportedly said: “If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” 

So when I love myself, I love everything. (I can see your reaction to this as I type it, ye are a funny bunch!) I love myself enough to do just the things I love doing as much as possible.

  

Carrie Bradshaw agrees with me :)

I love running, writing, good food, traveling, speaking, connecting, guiding, listening to music, coaching, and dancing. So I run, write, eat, travel, speak, connect, facilitate, listen to music, coach and dance as often as I can.

I love myself enough to live a life that is destined for doing what I love and for contribution beyond the idea of myself. Learning to guide and facilitate that change in others.

Not change in the sense of better, richer, faster or more successful. Change to help others to love themselves and do more stuff they love.

So do you express your love for you? Do you do the things you love as often as you can? Do you know you could make a living doing these? A full Living ;) 

It is my premise that if more people reconnected to love, our world would become a different place to live in. Reconnected individuals who love themselves enough to do more of what is truly them. And in that way help others at truly being themselves.

So yes I really love myself. Because love is infectious. And I want it to spread. 

Patte xxx

Belleek Marathon Challenge - Flow lessons!

3 Nights, 4 Days, 2 Marathons, 10's of friends. That was last weekend in Ballina, Mayo. It was the 6th edition of the Belleek Marathon Challenge. This is a relatively small, yet very professionally organised annual running event. Organised by runners Daria Lubinska and Cezary Lubinski.

Wooden Medals and T-Shirt

Day 1. Arrived in Ballina via 2 bus journeys. Limerick-Galway and Galway-Ballina. Dinner in Dillon's Bar and hydration in Harrisons.

Day 2. 6 laps of 7 kilometers in Belleek Forest. Despite overnight heavy rain the paths and trails of the forest were in good shape and grip was found with ordinary Asics runners, even on the many steep inclines and descents. Ran the first 14 kilometers and then figured out I'm a tad out of shape after only running races this year and no training. The 'training' is actually fun running a few times a week and will be resumed as a result of this weekend. Not because of the out of shape feeling. Instead, it was a memory of the good feelings after each daily run that convinced my mind to start running more often again. Finished laps 3, 4, 5 & 6 to the Finish line in the excellent company of Derek Mackessy. Derek runs Ultra's and 100 milers for fun and it was great to share stories for a couple of hours :)

Here's a link to the Saturday start video from the organisers FB page. Saturday had 7k, Half and Full Marathon:
https://www.facebook.com/Belleektrailmarathon/videos/462341867727193/?t=4

That night about 15 of us came together for a meal in the Ballina Manor Hotel. The banter, stories, memories, and dreams were flowing way faster than any beverages and hours flew by. At one stage I looked around our table and guessed there were about 2,500 Marathons between us. It could have been more. What a privilege to be here.

Day 3. Opening loop of about 3 miles, followed by 2 loops of the road to Killala and the Greenway. This road has no single, solitary flat bit in it. You are either going up or downhill. The Greenway was a relief each time. Twisted my knee on a downhill after about 6 miles. Every step after that was uncomfortable and running was painful. Spent the entire 26.2 miles alone in open nature just occasionally sharing encouragements with passing runners on this out and back loop.

Every single step that day was pure bliss. I felt at home. At peace. Living from within. Being. Doing what I love.

Day 4. Bus trip back to Limerick with a big smile and aching feet. And a sense of awareness.

Running has always been my guide to the rest of my life. I type this on Wednesday, 3 days after that 2nd Marathon. And yet again this feeling has permeated everything I do.

Just being. Doing what I love. At peace. From within.

And everything is flowing. Without effort.

Have a free-flowing day!!

Patte xxx

It only took 2 questions.

'I desperately want to succeed', Carolann said when we first met. It was a warmish yet breezy day. Autumn felt far away even though it was just around the corner. The canal bank was bustling with dog walkers, cyclists, and joggers.

'I have been trying to establish my business, have been doing it all myself on a shoestring budget and now that I am finally starting to get some traction I somehow lack the energy to give it that extra push it needs. And I simply have to succeed, my financial situation needs me to make it work.'

There was exasperation in her voice. It was as if the words trembled when she spoke them. She continuously looked to the sky yearning for some guidance or a holy intervention. She was gesticulating with her hands and had stopped walking.

'What do I have to do to get the extra energy to make this work? I need your input, Patrick.'

She gazed straight into my eyes. 'Well, what have I missed?', she exclaimed looking for some immediate words of wisdom.

'Remind me please', I enquired, 'What was it that got you into this field?'

Her pupils widened, a smile appeared. She looked down to one side as if trying to go into the feeling from memory. A story emerged. She spoke fluently, with passion describing the seminal moments that gave her the reason she got into what she is doing Now.

'How often do you feel that way these days?', I asked.

Suddenly she stopped talking and walking. She just stood there for at least 2-3 minutes. Silently.

Then she spoke again. 'Thanks, I had forgotten all this in my busyness to get a business going. I know what to do now'. She smiled and we hugged.

Sometimes all we need is to go within ourselves. Because there are all the resources and tools and feeling that we require to be awesome.

Remember, you are complete. You are whole. You are Potential.

'La Porte D'Argent' - The myth of continuous growth.

I was reminded this morning of an episode of Frasier, an American sitcom that ran from 1993 to 2004. It's central character Frasier Crane moves back to his hometown Seattle where he lives with his father, a retired cop, and where he works as a radio psychiatrist.

In this Episode, called Door Jam, Frasier and Niles, his brother, score an invitation to 'La Porte D'Argent'. This turns out to be an exclusive day spa. They get wonderful treatment and as they are about to leave they spot a Golden Door. They are told this is for Gold Level members only and you need to be on a list. They use their connections to get into the Gold Level where the service is amazing. As they are sitting in a relaxation grotto when they spot a Platinum Door. Anxious to find out what is behind it they try to get through the door which to their amazement is open. They barge into the other side ..... only to end up outside with the bins at the back of the building with the door shut behind them.

It dawned on me that we often do the same.

We are set targets at work. And when we reach the targets, they get increased. Time after time. Until we fail to reach them. Then an inquest starts.

We set goals for ourselves. We work hard towards them, making sacrifices. We persevere through tough days and give ourselves 100%. Then we reach the goal. We celebrate. And set another one. And another one. And then we fail to reach a particular goal and we feel deflated and useless.

We want more money than we can spend so we can invest. We need to top our investments because bad times might come. We need a great pension scheme for old age. We need more bedrooms, a bigger garden, an SUV for driving through the city, a second Michael Kors handbag. And then we never stop getting and wanting.

To be grateful that today you find yourself in 'La Porte d'Argent'. We have forgotten that. To be grateful for being here today. We have forgotten that. To be mindful and live in the Now. We have forgotten that.

To listen to the birds, cuddle the dog, admire the rainbow, save a bee, hug a tree, swim in a lake, love each other. Can we remember this?

We can seek continuous growth. Or we can live. Be. Just simply be. And do from that being.

I have chosen. Have you?

The sorcery of being indifferent to Mondays.

And just like that, it’s frickin’ Monday again. The Boomtown Rats didn’t like Monday. The Bangles found it to be a ‘Manic’ day. And most of us don’t want it to happen, ever. And yet. Every 7 days. It reappears.

So why do we hate it? Let’s check with the science people.

We socialise more often at weekends. This disturbs our energy levels.

We have ‘lie-ins’. That messes up our body clock.

So, you are physically less alert.

When you feel physically less fit, you ‘feel’ worse. Studies have shown people feel less attractive on Monday.

We feel Mondays are the worst day and so it becomes that. So we feel ‘blue’ about it.

A massive Gallup study states 70% hate or is disengaged from their job. And most ‘jobs’ start on Monday at 9am.

So, you are mentally in a lesser state.

No wonder must of us feel shite about this day.

And yet some people say they Love Mondays. Who are those freaks? I have met them and am still unsure if they mean it or just say they do to piss you off. 😉

Me, I am indifferent to Monday. I mean the word Monday. I feel the same about the words Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Am I, too, a freak? Well, some of the people I have worked with feel the same. What kind of sorcery is this?

Here are a few things we do differently.

1- We live in the moment and are, as Tim Minchin described, micro-ambitious. We understand that engaging fully in each moment gives us plenty of rewards.

2- We slowly yet steadily start seeking out the good things we love doing most and do more of this.

3- We attach importance in doing that what we do in the flow. Without distractions, naturally, from within.

4- We accept we are complete human beings and have everything we require already within us.

Let me pause here and give you some personal side effects that came from living this way.

I’m 1 month away from being 10 years GP free (that includes no colds nor flu). Opportunities appear everywhere because I am not fixated on some future goals and life. This led to 4 new ‘business’ partnerships in the last 2 months alone. I have run 120 Full Marathons between the age of 42 and 53 and am not done. And there is more but that is for a next blog or book 😊

Do you want to know more? Check this page for upcoming events, talks, weekends, etc…

Contact me directly by email to ask about working with me.

Just trust yourself. You can do this too. Yes, you.

Imagine becoming indifferent to the word Monday. Doing more of what you love. And still making a Living. Imagine what that would feel like.

You are so worth it.

Patrick xxx

Letting go of it all. A personal lesson.

Adolesence sucked. It happened later for me than for any of my peers. From being average height and weight I turned into the smallest of them all.

Add to that a high IQ. And being the only atheist kid in secondary school. I was the only one who didn't do his 'confirmation'. You get the picture? Bullying, ridiculed, beaten up, shunned. By peers and the 'Christian' Brothers.

Cue Loneliness. Fear. Rejection. Self doubt.

I started adapting myself by acting more like everyone else so I could belong. Helping others without asking back. Behaving like others so I wasn't lonely. Listening to music because it was popular. And so on .....

(A more in-depth story of my journey is one for a book.)

Somehow I got stuck in that way of thinking. In Uni. In any job I got. In most relationships I had. Because this was never who I truly was and every single time these things would fall apart or suffer. Dropped out of Uni. Lost or quit jobs. Sabotaged relationships.

What also continued was the Loneliness. Fear. Rejection. Self doubt. And adapting myself and pleasing others and doing stuff without asking back.

To stop fear and rejection I adopted a professional procrastination attitude. To stop loneliness I started joining in the adoration of people I never met. Sports clubs, rock stars, celebrities. To stop self doubt I invented stories.

And yet the only results were still Loneliness. Fear. Rejection. Self doubt.

It was time to let go of these. At some stage I started doing self development courses, reading personal development books, getting diplomas as a Coach. I set up a practice as a Qualified Life Coach. I met some wonderful people since. Some. Not that many. But enough to not fell lonely anymore.

Still there was fear, rejection, self doubt. I had to let them go yet the harder I tried the stronger the resistance was.

So I stopped trying. I thought I had anyway. I hadn't. I had just discovered another mask to hide behind. People were still taking advantage of my good nature. Stealing ideas, belittling me behind my back, bullying continued.

And then all of a sudden (as a result of interacting with some awesome people) I became aware. And conscious. Of what everything really is. About the purposelessness of life. That we are simply life realising itself. About the beauty of living in the flow. About the fact that reality is merely a perception. About the Now. About the fact that I was always a complete human.

And I met more truly awesome people.

And then today I got an email. From someone from the past demanding stuff from me. I dismissed it.

And everything fell off me. All the fear, rejection, loneliness, self doubt.

All that is left now is being. Doing what is in front of me. Giving 100% to what and whom I decide. Guiding others to that freedom through Coaching, NLP, Speaking and Writing. Running Marathons. Doing Radio. Podcasts. Just be.

Free. Direct. Straight talking. Loving. Compassionate. Passionate. Kind. No rules. No obligations. No attachments.

Free to live from within. 24/7.

Karma can go f**k itself. Wait, that's impossible. It doesn't exist.

Being doing. Not easy. Yet possible. And simple.


Have a fabulous day

Patte xxx