To understand the finer details of how we function as humans requires a lifetime’s work of research and a deep sense of collective awareness. I have mastered neither so far yet I have gained some serious insights on several aspects of what makes us tick and I’ll continue studying it as I find it thoroughly fascinating.
One thing that I have become aware and conscious of is how anger is of no distinguishable benefit to us at any stage. Not even when we need adrenaline cause we can get that elsewhere, through fear and success to name but two.
I grew up angry. That anger was fed to me by everyone around me. Angry with people who had more than us, angry with perceived injustices, angry with countries for what they did to other countries, angry with the Christian Brothers who beat me for talking in class, angry because I got my growth spurt to late and got bullied, angry for not being picked on the team.
All that anger was actually fed by fear. A fear of incompetence, not fitting in, not being good enough, never amounting to anything much. As a result there was a serious lack of self-esteem and self-belief and I sauntered through school, underachieving spectacularly but passing classes by doing just enough. Underachieving in sport.
And then the escape came, drink and cigarettes. Enough people my age died doing drugs for me not to get into that, there was no immediate sense of self destruction. I failed at Uni, failed at jobs, failed at living a fulfilling life.
Fast forward, I’m 48 now and the anger just left me. I am grateful for that, though the journey has been tough and full of pitfalls. It was a journey of awareness, acceptance and step by step action.
The rewards are huge though. Just by getting rid of anger I have buckets of energy, discovered my passions and live them, have returned to social activism without it sucking energy, got rid of most of my fears and am on the cusp of turning a self-employed coaching company into a business centred on helping people achieve more fulfilling lives; personally and in business.
It reminds me of the famous quote, attributed allegedly to Buddha: 'Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.'
Here’s some really good news. I’m just another human being with the same desires you have to be happy and life fully. So, IF I CAN, YOU CAN.
All you need is a first step. If you don’t know what that step is for you and your life or business is struggling as a result, ask an accredited Life Coach for help. You’ll thank me for it.